Georges the Spider

Michelle Wormleighton is a London-based comedy writer/performer and occasional jazz singer.

Ever since she was a toddler in the 1980s, Michelle has dreamt of being somebody else and so, obviously, she insisted that everyone call her Robert. Following a DNA test that proved., once and for all, that she is not very exotic, she decided to fling herself into character comedy and pretend to be other people.

Aside from her live character work, Michelle co-writes sitcom scripts with Rich Heap and works with comedy collective Enjoyment Parade who are producing her solo show 'Georges the Spider' and casting her in new play 'Bone Wars' by Nicholas Cooke and Keiron Nicholson.

charatcters (some of them, anyway)


Actor. Philosopher. Spider.

Born 1880 in Paris following a tryst between his Algerian-Franco 'Mama' and an English House Spider, Georges is still alive and desperate to reconcile his fraught relationship with Mama as well as destroy a few Hollywood Icons along the way.

Performance Artist + Owl.

In the late 80s and early 90s, Clorette was an aspiring actor working on the fringes of film, TV and society. 

Following a number of breakdowns and restraining orders, she now frequents the Los Angeles Performing Arts scene in which her stuffed owl Reg is not what he seems.

Clorette von Braun &
Reg the Owl from Yorkshire

Caravan Tourist. Arsonist. Welsh.

Star of ill-fated 90s documentary series ‘Maggie’s Motorways’, Mrs John mysteriously turned up in Pembrokeshire, Wales in 1978. She has identified as Welsh ever since.  

Aside from her job at the DVLA and frequent caravanning holidays with loyal husband Glenn, she loves Swarovski crystals, hates cheese, suffers from IBS and is prone to a rage so severe that she blows things up.

Maggie John
Miss Polly

Entertainer. David Blainer. 

All Craig the Octopus ever wanted was to leave the patriarchal society of the ocean and fraternize with humans on land. A bit like Ariel.  Except, unlike Ariel, his journey took him through gang land Coney Island, a boat party for Britney Spears and, finally, Port Talbot beach.

Will Craig ever win back the love of Tom Jones? Will he ever become an internationally recognised magician like David Blaine? Don't know. Pass him a jar to unscrew and maybe his luck will change.

Victorian Prostitute. Time Traveler.

From the fetid poorhouses and surly brothels of Whitechapel, came a gin-sodden whore of declining years. This wretch was plagued by a dark, infinite void beyond the perception of man. Known only to her as ‘The Daarhk’ this sinister void was prone to propel her through space, time and superficial reality.  

Party Girl. Works in Social Media.

Born in Somerset in 1988 but resident of Brixton since 2012, Enya has embraced the authentic character of the Village Market and can often be found sipping a Quinoa Smoothie with her artist friends who work in marketing.  

She wants a partner but until then she imposes herself on her gay school friend Toby and enjoys everything living in London entails.

craig the octopus

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